Phil Loach

Fear not, I'm sure it will. If you haven't done so already, please assume the position now. Because you're going to get shafted. We're all going to get shafted. For about ten years according to one pundit. Won't that be nice?

Fear not, I'm sure it will. If you haven't done so already, please assume the position now. Because you're going to get shafted. We're all going to get shafted. For about ten years according to one pundit. Won't that be nice?

I think the expression is 'you couldn't make it up...' The signwriter, or the man who designs the signs for the signwriter at Mousehole Harbour Authority, Cornwall, has come up trumps again. So to speak. I like to envisage this individual as a balding, moustachioed (is that how you spell it?) and bespectacled five foot three-er with a wicked sense of humour and a hefty wife who is into spanking and Beryl Cook.

I think the expression is 'you couldn't make it up...' The signwriter, or the man who designs the signs for the signwriter at Mousehole Harbour Authority, Cornwall, has come up trumps again. So to speak. I like to envisage this individual as a balding, moustachioed (is that how you spell it?) and bespectacled five foot three-er with a wicked sense of humour and a hefty wife who is into spanking and Beryl Cook.

Back in 1978 my newspaper sent me to photograph a young art student who had just had some illustrations of flowers published. We went into her garden to take the picture, there was a slight summer rain, so I suggested she keep her cagoule on as we moved over to the hedge for a backdrop. I had absolutely no idea at the time that two years earlier she had posed for one of the most iconic photographs to be taken in the latter half of the last century. She was Fiona Butler, the 'Tennis Girl' of photographer Martin Elliott.

Back in 1978 my newspaper sent me to photograph a young art student who had just had some illustrations of flowers published. We went into her garden to take the picture, there was a slight summer rain, so I suggested she keep her cagoule on as we moved over to the hedge for a backdrop. I had absolutely no idea at the time that two years earlier she had posed for one of the most iconic photographs to be taken in the latter half of the last century. She was Fiona Butler, the 'Tennis Girl' of photographer Martin Elliott.

I was going to do a serious blog. Honest. I've been reading all the stuff about drugs, and censorship, and dog poo, and I thought, come on Phil, do your bit, your blogosphere needs you. World peace, fascist and anti fascist rallies, the forthcoming General Election involving Major Scandals and Private Misdemeanors, it's time to get involved.

I was going to do a serious blog. Honest. I've been reading all the stuff about drugs, and censorship, and dog poo, and I thought, come on Phil, do your bit, your blogosphere needs you. World peace, fascist and anti fascist rallies, the forthcoming General Election involving Major Scandals and Private Misdemeanors, it's time to get involved.

It was possibly around ten years ago or more, probably on this very day, that my newspaper ran this story concerning the delicate subject of mating tortoises in our Black Country parks. Readers were warned to be on their guard as the regular spring ritual got under it's slow and laborious way. This prolonged and unsettled winter has meant that once again, vigilance and care are the watchwords...

It was possibly around ten years ago or more, probably on this very day, that my newspaper ran this story concerning the delicate subject of mating tortoises in our Black Country parks. Readers were warned to be on their guard as the regular spring ritual got under it's slow and laborious way. This prolonged and unsettled winter has meant that once again, vigilance and care are the watchwords...