Night Moves

26/03/15

Hummingbird

The internet is a funny old place.

In among all the "which historical despot are you?" quizzes and "24 pictures of places in Scotland" articles, I found last week some people engaged in an angry campaign against eateries that serve their food on anything other than a plate.

I certainly remember my first time encountering this trend.

It was a few years ago in The Butchershop Bar, and I was served a succulent burger in a dreamy brioche bun (before they became the norm).

The chips came in a little tin bucket - which, in 2011, was mind-blowing.

Now things have progressed, and chips come in wee shopping trolleys and tiny deep fat frier baskets.

When it comes to main courses it's open season: you could be eating your fish supper off a piece of slate roofing, a block of stone, a metal tray, out of a wooden vegetable box, or - this is the one that really started it all - your burger from a long wooden board.

Ketchup, which still retains an outlet downstairs in Hummingbird, was one of the first to adopt this board strategy.

There's an unbelievable amount of anger being directed toward the boards on the We Want Plates Facebook. "What is wrong with having ALL your meal together on a PLATE," asks Betty.

"Jesus, Mary & Joseph. It's the end of days," wails Jeni, confronted with a picture of a breaded fish fillet on a board.

Perhaps it's not the board's fault.

Perhaps it's society's fault.

All those people who signed the Jeremy Clarkson petition are probably the ones battering their keyboards complaining about a dish they haven't even been served.

I'd like to see things go the other way: I want fried eggs served on the sole of a shoe; foie gras perched on a garden trowel.

Plates are dead, man. Long live the age of the burger board and the shovel of chips.

Hummingbird

Whats the best thing you've ever found?

1. Stuart Mackenzie, 29, Gorbals, £10 outside Nando's

Jonathan Golby, 30, Finnieston, Jesus

2. Steven "Whipper" Nicolson, 30, Bridge of Weir

Favourite Club? Sub club

Favourite Bar? Park bar

Favourite DJ? Theo Kottis

Favourite Band? Coldplay

First Club? The Shack

What You Drinking? Cosmopolitans

Describe Your Dancing? Groovy, funky, fresh

3. Stephen Elliott, 31, Livingston, My wife

Catriona Elliott, 33, Livingston, My house

4. Zoe Mullaney, 22, Glasgow, A four star, all-inclusive holiday for £300

Stuart Martin, 29, Glasgow. An Aberdeen crest shiny sticker at the side of the road for my 1996/97 SPL Panini album

5.Cliff Thorburn, 29, Partick, Bonny

Bonny Stevens, 29, Partick, A deserted beach in Spain

6. Calum Murray, 30, West End, The Holy Grail

Kirsty Fraser, 24, West End, Cake

7. Lisa Bruce, 29, West End, £10 on Bath St

Kenny Money, 29, Houston, a stash of adult magazines on the golf course

Colleen McCaffrey, 29, Houston, Stirling University

8. Ali Scott, 29, West End, A box of Irn Bru Bars

Cassi Scott, 29, West End, Breaking Bad