The Moll was hot. It had been week of scorching temperatures in Glasgow and the heatwave seemed to have gone to her head, and even worse, my wallet.

“Did you really need another TEN lipsticks?, Toots?” I asked, sarcastically, as she emptied out her latest shopping bags to reveal her haul.

“Oh c’mon darling, you know all my other ones have run out and I want to make sure I have enough to last until Christmas time. I couldn’t face all our Christmas shindigs without my signature red.”

I sighed. This month hadn’t been great. A few of my cases had hit dead ends and the money was drying up. It was a Friday night too, and I knew doll face would expect a slap-up meal courtesy of moi.

“Really, more stilettos? And in this heat I have no idea why you’d need a fur coat.” I said with surprise as the contents of the rest of her shopping bags spilled out on to the living room floor.

She looked at me with a glare that I haven’t seen in a while. “You don’t want me to look like a drowned rat, do you Tec?

“All my shoes need heeled, and my last fur coat got eaten by that dog when we went to Marge’s. Blood thing, I think it was convinced it had caught a rabbit or something the way it destroyed it.”

I settled down in the armchair in the corner of the room and tried not to look at the growing mound of clothes, bags and makeup emerging from the bags toots had brought in.

After an hour my stomach started rumbling, and sweetums was starting to get narky – I think she needed some scran too.

With cash on the low side, I thought it was best to stick to something cheap and cheerful and had heard about a swanky new place in the West End which didn’t break the bank.

We jumped in a cab and stopped outside Kelvingrove Art Gallery. The magnificent red building stood out even more with the sun setting behind it, a few dog walkers strolling back and forth in front of the steps.

In front of us was Baffo, a new pizza and beer place which definitely looked the part. As we walked, a smiling waiter seated us at a window with a view over the stunning galleries opposite.

Toots seemed happy as soon as she had her manicured claws round a glass of vino, and I relaxed with a beer as we perused the menu – a fairly standard Italian offering but everything coming from the kitchen smelled devine.

We both settled on pizzas, which seemed to be the house speciality. The Moll opted for something extravagant – the Pizza col Baffo, topped with buffalo mozzarella, fennel salami, rocket and Parma Ham while I the spicier Incazzata, with salami and chillies.

We tucked in to some mozzarella bites and Parma ham croquettes to start, but were left feeling slightly underwhelmed. The mozzarella snacks let out water as soon as we bit into them, while the croquettes tasted very similar but with potato, and not a trace of Parma ham in sight.

The pizzas, though, were to die for. We opted as the half meter sizes as we were both ravenous, but it proved a bit too much to handle, and we had no space for dessert by the end.

The sauce was tangy, the crusts were doughy and crisp on the outside and the toppings were hot, cheesy and perfectly cooked. The combination of chillies and salami, with soft and gooey cheese just melted in my mouth. Toots was delighted with her choice too but even she couldn’t hoover it all up. I waited for the Moll to go and powder her nose, then asked for the bill. For once, our Friday night meal hadn’t put a massive dent in my wallet.


1377 Argyle Street


G3 8AF

0141 583 0000

Atmosphere - 4

Food - 3

Service – 4


Mozarella Fritti - £3

Croquettes - £3


Incazzata pizza - £15

Pizza Col Baffo - £17


2xMoretti Beer - £6

2 x Nero D’Avola wine – 8.40

Total - £52.40