OK, let’s be straight up here. You’re most likely feeling horrendous and bloated because your belly has barely recovered from being stuffed with turkey and goose and potatoes and subsequently marinated in beer and wine and whisky for two weeks.

You’re struggling to get through this three-day week, so am I, but it’s Thursday and it’s hump day so let’s start thinking about the weekend. That’ll make it all better.

Except it won’t, because it’s officially the quietest weekend of the entire year and there’s so little going on. The listings pages are just blank bullet points. And even if the most exciting club night of the year was happening out there tomorrow, you couldn’t go, could you, because you’re completely and utterly skint. The horrors just keep on multiplying.

Let’s be thankful for small mercies though – it isn’t all doom and gloom. The good old Sub Club can be relied upon to come through in these situations, and tomorrow night they have local crew Don’t Drop’s first-ever Friday night party.

Boddika, the south London DJ and producer, is the guest. He pumps out fierce acid techno jams on analogue equipment – a sound described by Fabric as “somewhere between techno, electronica and the future”.

A purist in every sense, he’s also infamous around these parts for taking out a chunk of the Subbie’s ceiling during a raucous i AM session a couple of years ago. His various controversies aside, Boddika makes a fearsome noise and if you can afford to make it to one party this week, it should be this.

• Boddika, tomorrow, Sub Club, 11pm – 3am, £8

Volvox

At the risk of sounding like Alan Partridge, I’ve been thinking a lot about the name Volvox. A strong stage name is essential in building up a career as a DJ or producer. You want it to instantly put across how much cooler or cleverer you are than everyone else, or it should reveal something unique about your personality. You certainly don’t want it to, say, conjure up cinematic images of big, safe estate cars cruising through wintry Scandinavian vistas. But that’s exactly what Volvox does to me. Even more weirdly, it made me want to go and see her more. If ever there was a sign that middle age is approaching, then this is surely it.

Thankfully, a cursory Google search throws up Volvox’s recent Boiler Room set, and the leather-interior fantasy that I have created is swiftly punctured. A veteran of Boston’s underground scene (which sort-of thrives, despite a licensing board even more un-chill, more regressive, and more anti-fun than Glasgow’s) who made the leap to New York, Ariana Paoletti is a proponent of “tough-as-nails, acid-drenched” techno. She’s a resident at Brooklyn’s Bossa Nova Civic Club, where her monthly storming, high-energy sets attract a hardy band of regulars to the intimate, tropical-themed dance club. Tropical vibes might be thin on the ground over on Queen Street right now, but catching this outstanding DJ in their sweatbox basement might be as close as it gets to experiencing a taste of Brooklyn’s unsurpassed nightlife.

• Missing Persons Club with Volvox, tomorrow, La Cheetah, 11pm – 3am, £5

The Source Reunion

Jings. This eight-hour extravaganza – or should I say debacle, or celebration of chaos, or swamp of depravity, because that’s what it’ll resemble by 3am – is a nostalgic throwback to the days of the Source parties, which had the original ravers reaching for their glowsticks back in the mid-90s.

As well as ravey visuals and a dazzling laser show (handy, as it’s probably best not to see what’s going on around you at these things) there are sets from old school dance acts Ultra-Sonic, aka the legendary DJ and MC Mallorca Lee, Dymension, Ultimate Buzz, and someone called MC Madman. Should be a barrel of laughs.

• The Source Reunion, Saturday, Classic Grand, 8pm – 4am, £22.50

Output Launch Night

There’s a Boiler Room set I keep going back to when I need to get stuff done, and it’s the one by Big Miz at the start of Dixon Avenue Basement Jams’s session back in summer 2015. A 57-minute masterclass in kicking Detroit techno, it doesn’t let up for a minute, building to a furious finish where the whoops from the tightly-packed crowd say it all. Get down to Stereo on Saturday night for more of the same from the DABJ prodigy, who flourishes in dark, loud basements just like the one on Renfield Lane.

• Output Launch Night with Big Miz, Saturday, Stereo, 11pm – 3am, £6