AN ole gumshoe pal of mine is getting hitched. It's official, I've lost another good man to all things expensive.

"You know my guy, toots? He is sort of, well, he's getting hitched and we're invited. The wedding is, kind of... this weekend,"I casually uttered while her ladyship was catching up on some light 'reading'.

Toots dropped her gossip rag and jumped up excitedly, "Oh my, this is so romantic. I'm so happy for him. What will I wear? Should I get a tan? My nails done?"

Then the penny dropped as she picked up her gossip rag again: "Wait this weekend! Why are you telling me now? How on earth am I meant to look good with no notice? I mean what do I wear? How will I get appointments? This will cost you Tec, cost you," she screamed.

Trying to calm the situation over fear she would belt me with her gossip rag, I piped up, "You can have whatever you want, no expense spared. I'll pay for it all (mind you I always do, I thought to myself)".

She started to chirp up again, and continued her quest to bleed me dry. "Should I get a hat? I am thinking coral for the dress, what do you think?"

Trying to get away from this wedding chat, I suggested that we get something to eat near all the 'fancy' shops in town and she can have browse.

"Oh, I would love that Tec," she beamed as she started rhyming off the names of all these fancy expensive Italian joints that sell threads I would need to remortgage for.

Trying to save my bank book, I interrupted, "I want to try Cau though, it is near all the fancy shops on Ingram Street."

Looking shocked Toots hit back, "I love my beef too but you don't have to be so callous by calling it cow."

"No honey, you're mistaken, this joint is called Cau, it's an Argentinian steak restaurant."

"Ahhhhhh," she said, but I have to admit she still looked very confused.

We jumped in the Buick, and already I was few bucks down thanks to the fancy parking prices in this part of town.

As we entered Cau, I have to admit, it was a bit clinical. Didn't have the same soul as the places where we usually eat out. But I pushed its modern, lack of character feel to the side and got stuck into the menu.

To my surprise, toots opted for a three course special lunch menu which comes in at £12.95. She's saving me money, I thought. What is she up to?

She kicked things off with crispy fried mozzarella but I skipped my starter, I had to save for this wedding, after all. I still wasn't sure what she was up to?

Toots then had steak and chips for her second course, while I had the classic Cau burger with cheese and bacon. Now, I asked for this well done, and to my surprise they did it right. The burger was incredibly tasty while toots loved her steak which was cut to perfection and tasted great.

We did, however, struggle to eat the chunky chips. They were simply too chunky. They weren't bad though, they just weren't great.

When you enter Cau, the incredibly nice staff, and they are really nice, offer you a jug water. I have to admit, this comes in handy, especially when the meat sweats kick in.

Despite being stuffed, I thought I would squeeze in dessert, after all, it might be my last with what this wedding will cost me.

I had the chocolate brownie, and it was a bit dry, if I am honest. Toots scoffed Cau bread pudding as far as she could - the steak didn't leave her with much room.

The bill came and it was reasonable for this part of town. Toots smiled, "Since you saved so much I thought you could get me a real Italian leather bag for the wedding?"

"How much?" I dared to ask. She confidently replied, "£600."

I reached for the jug of water again, as this time the sweats were real.

Cau Glasgow, Unit 1, 222-224 Ingram Street, Glasgow, G1 3BX. Tel: 0141 221 6272


Food: ***

Atmosphere: *

Service: ****

The menu:


Crispy fried mozzarella £2

Main courses

Steak and chips £8.95

Cau burger £9.95

with cheese £1

with bacon £1

Chipotle butter £1.50


Bread and butter pudding £2

Brownie £5.95


Cau cooler £2.95

Diet coke £2.95

Total: £38.25