AT this time of year, we tend to reflect on events of the year past.

The highs and the lows. The good times, and the not so good times. The sad times, and the funny times. And for me, some bizarre times. Such as one weekend back in June.

Saturday morning and everything that could go wrong, did go wrong, starting with a trip to get my car washed.

Admittedly, I do have one of the smallest cars in the world and should wash it myself, but it’s such a palaver trailing buckets of water in and out of my house, so I drove to my local car wash where a team of guys would do the dirty deed for me. And all for £4!

Sitting in a lengthy queue, eventually I was gestured forward into position.

The car was rinsed from all angles and then sprayed with thick white foam which covered every inch of my car. Suddenly, I heard loud yelling, but had no clue it was aimed at me.

Apparently, the car wash guy was waving me forward and getting a little annoyed because I was ignoring him, but I was now sitting inside a giant snow globe and couldn’t see a blinking thing!

However, I drove forward and put the handbrake back on.

Furiously tapping the window, another guy wiped a circle in the foam, pulled an angry face at me and pointed to his hose, which was now under my wheel. Oops!

Finally, my car rinsed and gleaming, I rummaged in my purse for £4. But just as the guy was taking the cash from me, I rather hastily put up the electric window which caught his fingertips.

“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” I apologised as I sped off.

The following day it was my pal Mae’s turn for a disastrous venture to her car wash. However, Mae regularly used the automated one with the big blue brushes (which I reckoned would be my future choice after my recent experience).

Normally Mae would give the guy her car key, he would valet her car and then drive it through the automated car wash whilst she sat across the road in a comfy café with a coffee and a magazine.

But not this day.

“Too busy, lady.” She was informed as he pointed to the automated car wash.

“You need to put car through car wash yourself.”

“Oh no,” thought Mae, because she had never driven through one of these contraptions.

However, nervously she got back into her car and edged as directed towards the start of the car wash.

The guy then patiently attempted to align Mae’s front wheels with the tracking system.

“Left.” Was the instruction.

“No, right.”

Mae turned the steering wheel slightly.

“No, left.”

“No, right.”

The now irate guy was flapping his arms in all directions as Mae’s wheels still weren’t quite in alignment. Eventually, somewhat relieved, he pointed to the lights and arrows on the machine which indicated that Mae’s wheels were now literally on track.

Mae thought she was home and dry so decided that as the machine was doing all the work, she would make the most of her time by decluttering the inside of her car.

Her Robbie Williams’ CD was on full bung as she picked up sweetie papers and coffee cups.

She could feel her car shake a little and was rather nervous but imagined this was normal.

All seemed to be going as planned, so next she got out her dash cleaner from the glove compartment and began polishing her dashboard.

Accompanying Robbie, Mae screeched at the top of her voice.

“Let me….eeeee…… entertain you.”

Mae felt her car shake again but decided not to be paranoid and continued. “Let me….eeeee…… entertain you.”

Focusing on the inside of her car, Mae had no clue that anything was wrong outside until suddenly and vigorously her car shuddered.

Next minute, the giant blue brush hovering above Mae’s car thudded heavily on her roof.

The giant brush dropped with such force that the roof of her car compressed several inches.

“Argh!” Poor Mae had no clue what was happening.

Next thing, her windscreen exploded sending thousands of tiny glass particles in all directions.

Mae could hear manic shouting outside (which wasn’t outside anymore because she had no windscreen!). Abruptly the car wash was shut down and Mae was helped from her vehicle.

Poor Mae’s wobbly legs barely made it to a nearby wall where she sat and dialled her friend Jim.

“Jim...” she quivered.

“I’ve had a bit of an accident in the car wash.”

Jim naturally assumed Mae’s wing mirror had been wrenched off, or something as trivial.

“What the...?”

Apparently, Jim was in a state of shock when he saw Mae perched on the wall with blood trickling down her forehead. Her car roof was caved in, and her windscreen shattered, with glass pieces spewed everywhere.

So, perhaps me and Mae will stick to a soapy bucket of water and sponge after all!

Happy New Year!