THE life of a taxi driver exposes you to a whole host of personalities, conversations and experiences.

Such is the rich tapestry of life that every shift is unique and the humble punter never ceases to surprise you.

However, there is a stock of comments and questions that you can bet your night’s tips you’ll hear on each and every shift.

Such as:

“What time did you start mate?”

“You busy today / tonight mate?”

And … “what time do you finish mate?”

There’s nothing wrong with these at all, of course, it’s simply conversation starters and you soon move on to other matters. They break the ice, serve a purpose.

Other questions may be less prolifically heard but are still common enough.

For example:

“Who do you support?”

“What about this weather, eh?”

“And … can you fit one more into your taxi?”

That last one came to light just last week in a very entertaining way.

I was in the rank queue opposite Central Station and getting closer and closer to the front.

Now when that happens, you start to look at the number of taxis, the queue and guess who you might get for your next hire.

The young professional, the elderly couple, the trio of

tourists, the set of students, the list goes on.

On this occasion, I got the big one – the group of gallous guys.

Glasgow Times:

Usually great fun, often they board your cab with the best banter in tow, especially when they are heading out for the night.

Other times they can prove a bit more of a challenge – like today.

This group of lads got to my passenger door and shouted through the window.

“HOAW MATE, CAN YOU GET ALL SIX OF US IN YOUR TAXI?”

“No, I’m sorry gents, I’m only licensed to carry five.”

“AW COME OAN MATE, IT’S ONLY A SHORT FARE.”

“Honestly, I can’t, I can take five of you, or you can split across two taxis or you can wait for the next six-seater.”

“WE’RE IN A RUSH BIG YIN, WAN OF US WILL HIDE. WE’LL WEIGH YOU RIGHT IN.”

“Boys, I could lose my license, I can’t.”

A short pause.

“AW RAM IT THEN. STICK YER TAXI UP YER ARSE.”

“Naw pal, stick yer pal up yer arse and you can all fit in!”

Ha ha. The boys loved it. They were laughing as much as I was and I could still hear them as they walked down the rank to get that first six-seater.

Me, my luck was in as the next customers were a lovely couple heading back to the airport.

I even squeezed their suitcases in! Happy faces all round.

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