Cops and robbers

AMATEUR psychologists have been having a field day with the latest issue of Holyrood magazine and its interview with Wendy Chamberlain. The newbie LibDem MP for North East Fife revealed her earliest memory was being caught stealing a toy from playgroup. “When we came to collect our stuff at the end of the week, I helped myself,” she confessed. She later joined the police. No massive guilt there then.

Egg head

MS Chamberlain also disclosed she considers Willie Rennie her “work husband”, while her real husband is a member of the SNP. But most eye-catching was her guiltiest pleasure. “Eating Creme Eggs whole,” she declared. Last week she found three boxes of the sickly blobs in a cupboard at home. “My husband knows me so well,” she said. But which one?

Highland mess

NAT Richard Lyle raised eyebrows when he tried to jump into Holyrood questions about the Highlands & Islands, as his Bellshill seat boasts neither. Deputy PO Christine Grahame smelled a rat. “Mr Lyle, I have to caution you. If I do not hear ‘Highlands and Islands’ in your first breath, you are stopping in your tracks.” He then made a classic toady point about UK immigration plans hurting “the tourism industry in Scotland - and the Highlands and Islands” Ms Grahame narrowed her eyes. “Ah, the work of a pro, Mr Lyle.”

Silicon chaps

WITH his gift for almost finding the right word for the right occasion, Mr Lyle also features in many a Holyrood malapropism. Quizzing Queensferry Crossing bosses about build-ups on the bridge in freezing weather recently, he solemnly opined about “ice accreditation” on the bridge. But even better was the mental image created by the Scottish Greens this week in a press release referring to Scotland’s ill-fated computer sector as “Silicone Glen”. We’ve never met him, or his implants, but we’re sure he’s a lovely chap.

Crystal balls

IN the first of short series on the prophetic visions of Jackson Carlaw, we bring you this little forecast from November 2003. After meeting vampiric new Tory leader Michael Howard, JC reported he had “exuded charm and elan.. A man with both style and passion who struck me as both a winner and a potential prime minister”. As for the Tories’ opponents? “With Michael Howard we are ready to take the fight to them and in time we will win.” He lasted two years.

Matt finish

TOUGH times for Glasgow councillor Matt Kerr’s underdog fight to be deputy leader of Scottish Labour. He recently tweeted out a campaign picture bearing the slogan “I’ve voted Matt Kerr”. He then added gratuitously “I’ve voted Matt Kerr for Deputy leader of Scottish Labour” above it. At which point, Twiiter groaned en masse: “I should hope so, Matt!”

Political network

WHAT is going on with Scotland’s newest, and most mysterious, party? Clues from the Electoral Commission suggest the fledgling Independent Scotland Party, founders as yet unknown, has already changed its name to the Independence for Scotland Party. The logo (a thistle, gasp) now bears the letters ISP. But as any fule kno, this is short for Internet Service Provider. Whether the quixotic Independence for Scotland Party proves as unpopular as every other ISP remains to be seen.