CAN there be any truth in the rumour Dundee owner John Helms had his mind changed by Albert Kidd?

That the curly-haired sub from 1986, who came off the bench at Dens Park to prevent Hearts from winning the league on the final day, whispered in the ear of the American and this time consigned Gorgie’s finest to relegation?

Why not? It would be less strange than a lot of stuff which has been going on.

There are some Hearts supporters who have never been quite the same since that dramatic Saturday on Tayside 36 years ago when a 2-0 win by Dundee handed Celtic the title – with seven minutes of the league season to go.

Whether this grand old Gorgie club, now staring at financial disaster, can recover fully from at least a year in the Championship is something we are about to find out. I feel for them.

Trust Scottish football to find the worst possible way to manage a disaster. I wouldn’t trust those who run our game, in the boardroom and inside the clubs themselves, to take the bins out.

What the SPFL have proposed, and what over 85 per cent of the clubs agreed to, reluctantly or not, is the least fair plan to deal with how to end the 2019/20 season.

When they are in a hole, the guardians of our game always ask for more shovels. If they are in a creek made of sticky brown stuff, they’ll throw away the paddles and then dive off the boat.

That the SPFL stated that prize money could only be handed out if the clubs agreed to their plan of ending the season now with all positions decided was immoral.

Clubs are dying. They need revenue. The cash is there. It only takes a few clicks of a mouse these days to do a money transfer. They should have done that on Friday and then more talks and a vote could have taken place.

They could have called it a loan if they wanted. Who cares?

Their appalling handling of this meant clubs voted against what they believed so they could keep the lights on. Or in Dundee’s case, voted and then changed their mind because in the real world you are totally allowed to cast a ballot paper and then walk back into the local primary school and declare a change of heart which gives said voter another go at it.

I have said all along that the only two options were for the season to end but with the league formats changed so that for one year only – and it’s a year like no other – nobody gets relegated. Those top win the league, those second in the bottom three divisions get promoted.

Or the campaign is played out whenever life gets back to normal.

Neither of these proposals are perfect. Not by a long shot. But in an era when British doctors and nurses are dying on the job, when pensioners are scared to leave their homes, the economy is tanking and us plebs are being told to be happy Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is out of hospital, perfection is impossible.

Those who claim no title can be won with eight or nine games to go are doing so while wearing tinted specs. We know it and they know we know it.

The Rangers propaganda machine has been in full flow, but there’s been a half-heartedness about it. Those in charge at Ibrox, whoever they are, have bigger concerns than Celtic being prematurely crowned nine-in-a-row champions. That was always going to happen. Whether Rangers can get through this unscathed is less sure.

I did like their ‘we know something about you’ statement about the SPFL which hinted at evidence of impropriety but, to date, has not been explained. This stung Murdoch MacLennan into action as he demanded Rangers provide proof.

This got people asking questions of their own... such as: “Who is Murdoch Maclennan?”

Well, he is the SPFL chairman. Someone who to my knowledge has yet to do an interview, hold a press conference, or, before this debacle, even put his name to a statement. Has he even been to a game?

MacLennan has no background in football. He is, however, a middle-age white man who has spent his life in boardrooms – in newspapers for the most part – and that gets you the big gigs.

Partick Thistle are bottom of the Championship. They are however two points behind with a game in hand and yet won’t get the chance to save themselves. This is what happens when you have men at the top who have been told all their lives that they are officer material when they are most definitely not.

We need to go for the least-worst option. Instead, the SPFL told their member clubs that they would only get the money they needed, and what would come their way in any event, if they back their plan – which of course is the worst option.

Oh, and why did their proposal run to 105 pages? Hilary Mantel would consider that a bit long.

SPFL, SPL, SFA, Scottish League. No matter the name on the door, those inside the offices are never up to the job. A few heads should roll, Wolf Hall style. I just hope all 42 clubs are still here to see that.