DEAR Janice, I’m pregnant and not sure who the father is. I hooked up with three guys before lockdown in December and am unsure which one is the dad. Do you think I should get DNA tests done or not rock the boat and get on with raising the baby myself without knowing who the dad is? One of the guys is engaged and the other two are not really my type so I’m not looking for any kind of relationship. Anon.

Dear Anon, this sounds like a scene from Mamma Mia – a baby, three potential dads and a lot of uncertainty. But this is real life, and you owe it to your unborn child to determine who its father is regardless of whether you want a relationship or not.

There are many reasons why it’s important for a child to know who its parents are. Family history can be crucial as genetically inherited illnesses can be tested for, and if you have ever watched Long Lost Families then you will know that some people spend a lifetime trying to fill a void and get the answers they seek, as family connections and history can be crucial. As for DNA testing, well, this is one burden I’m glad to say our financially stretched NHS does not have to provide – therefore, I’m afraid you’ll have to pay for these yourself and have testing done privately.

I wish you and your unborn child well, and perhaps it’s worth considering keeping a diary log in future of the guys you are sleeping with to avoid such a situation again

Dear Janice, I am at the end of my tether with my husband’s snoring. It’s no laughing matter as the last time I had a decent sleep was when I was in Benidorm with the girls. He snores every night but it’s even worse at the weekend when he has a drink. It sounds like a pneumatic drill going off, even when I’m in the spare room. I love him to bits but can’t ever see a solution to this and the thought of a lifetime of sleepless nights is getting me down. Sandra.

Dear Sandra, I completely empathise with you. Many moons ago in a Travelodge my daughter woke up through the night and peaked over the top of her bunk bed to see me holding a pillow over her dad’s face shaking him to stop bloody snoring. I lost it, because like you, I was desperate for sleep. But this is not the answer. There are only so many times in a night you can roll him on to his side, so firstly, I would get him to the doctor and have him checked out medically. If he is overweight or obese, this usually exacerbates the situation, so it might be time to help him lose the pounds.

Alcohol relaxes the throat muscle and increases the chance of snoring, but I think it’s a big ask for him to give it up at weekends. So, you may need to compromise.

There are many products on the market, and I have no doubt you have tried a few, but nasal clips are one of the best-rated for comfort and cost. Give them a try, and sweet dreams

Dear Janice, my partner and I have a five-year-old son, and my partner also has a teenage daughter who stays with us every second weekend. However, I am struggling to cope with her bad manners and rudeness towards me. She takes every opportunity to bring her mum into the conversation too. What’s more upsetting is that my boyfriend never tells her off for her behaviour or defends me. I just want us all to get along. Tracey.

Dear Tracey, sorry to hear this ... but with many so-called blended families nowadays, this is not an uncommon issue.

However, you shouldn’t have to put up with such behaviour and feel miserable in your own home. Part of the problem lies in your partner’s inability to chastise his daughter. Most likely he doesn’t want to upset her in the short time she is with him, but he needs to recognise her behaviour is unacceptable and that she is setting a bad example to your five-year-old. He should remind her that he loves her, but you are also a big part of his life and she should respect that.

Spend time alone with her doing something fun to find out what makes her tick. Tell her you understand how she must feel with her parents’ break-up and that you’re not trying to be her mum, but that you love her dad and want her to be part of the family.

Suggest that she and her dad spend time alone together too. Remember she is the “outsider” and perhaps when she feels less insecure, she will start to relax and enjoy being part of the family.

Dear Janice, my colleague/flatmate keeps using all the milk and sugar without replacing anything and now he is even helping himself to my food stash too. How do I address this without a bust-up? Derek.

Dear Derek, I am assuming you have said on several occasions how annoying this is? There is nothing more infuriating reaching for something which is yours and it’s disappeared. It sounds childish but if he doesn’t meet you halfway, I would invest in a small fridge for your room and a padlock for your door. Explain this is your way of avoiding future rows. Give him a few days and he’ll soon discover where the shops are!


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