Dear Janice, I have a long-distance lover whom I haven’t seen for over a year now due to the restrictions on travel. He lives in Malta and although he is 25 years younger than me, we get on like a house on fire. He video calls me every Friday night and we have such a great laugh. I have only given him small amounts of cash so far as his hotel work has dried up, but now he is asking me to send a substantial amount until the travel industry opens again. My friends say I won’t see my money again, but he sounds desperate. Lena.

Dear Lena, he most likely does sound desperate but sadly, and brutally, so do you. Not only will you never see your cash again, but I doubt if you will ever clap eyes on this young long-distance lover either.

This is a particularly lonely time for many people, especially if you are single, and I totally understand when life is monotonous and unexciting, that looking forward to a laugh and lovey-dovey chit-chat with a handsome young guy on a Friday night is something you look forward to. Let’s face it, there is only so much Netflix you can watch, and if these video calls get you through the week, then carry on.

But please, please, do not send money. It’s wrong of him to be tugging on your heart strings, so say no to sending anything other than love and best wishes, and if he disappears then you’ll know where you stand. If it’s banter you want, set up some group chats online with your friends. Quizzes, bingo, etc. That way you’ll have fun, company, and maybe even win some money instead of throwing it away.

Dear Janice, yesterday as I was getting dressed, my husband watched me putting on my underwear, and as I’m not as flexible these days, I was trying to lasso my thong around one foot and work it up from there. I was mortified when he said I looked ridiculous and suggested I ditch my thongs and wear something more appropriate for my age. Surely if I went for the big Bridget Jones pants, I would still have the same problem. Amanda.

Dear Amanda, I bet your darling husband huffs and puffs like the big bad wolf when he’s cranking over to yank his Y-fronts up in the morning, and does he back-flip into the shower to start his day? I think not.

You see, our agility takes its toll as we get older for many reasons, which makes simple tasks like dressing and undressing more like a comedy sketch than the sexy side-show it might once have been.

Start your day with stretching exercises or yoga and you’ll soon feel an improvement in your flexibility, not just for whipping on your thong – everything you do will improve. Joint supplements can help too. So, leave the Bridget Jones pants for now and leave your Tin Man to oil his own joints.

Dear Janice, old fashioned as it may seem, my girlfriend still fills in a large diary every day. She has done this since her schooldays apparently, but the thing is, she doesn’t hide the diary and it’s staring me in the face every time I go round her side of the bed. I am really tempted to have a nosey, especially if we’ve had a disagreement or have fallen out. Surely if I read it now then it would help me to see her side of things? Jeff.

Dear Jeff, once you turn the first page of her diary it will be like opening Pandora’s Box. It can never be closed again and there is no going back on what you have read.

It would be like reading a gripping novel with you in the leading role, so let’s be honest, not in a million years will you have one quick nosey and leave it at that.

My friend’s so-called friend read text messages on her mobile which were taken out of context and all hell broke loose, and I guarantee you, you too will read things you will not like. Let’s face it, if most of the stuff going on in our head was available for others to view, we would all be in deep trouble and many relationships would crash.

Reading her diary would be a major breach of trust and betrayal so stay away from her side of the bed and temptation. Remember, curiosity killed the cat and could well kill your relationship too!

Dear Janice, I forgot my girlfriend’s birthday, and even though I don’t see her often (she lives 200 miles away), she’s in a foul mood. How can I make it up to her? Hamish.

Dear Hamish, you can’t, so don’t even try and grovel. Fake a mood yourself and when she asks why, tell her you’re upset that she didn’t thank you for your online gift, and that you therefore assumed she didn’t like it.

Get online and order her pressie, asking her to confirm this second delivery attempt has arrived.

And it might be an idea to put a birthday reminder in your mobile for next year (assuming you’re still together).