Dear Janice, my husband of 30 years wants to leave me. He says he loves me but in a sisterly kind of way and needs to find the spark again he feels he is missing out on. I think this all stems from the fact that his best friend split from his wife and is now in a relationship with a much younger thing who, trust me, is only out for all she can get. Mr husband doesn’t see this though, just the tights skirts and the big boobs. How can I make him stay? Margaret.

Dear Margaret, short of tying him to the bed and sledgehammering his ankles like Annie Wilks in the movie Misery, you can’t.

And would you really want to be with a man because you forced him to stay? This would only end up in resentment all round, and your sisterly relationship would turn into one of true Misery.

It is sad when a long-standing relationship doesn’t work out, but it’s equally sad to stay in an unhappy one. I take it you still love him as a husband and that’s real shame, but unrequited love is tragic and soul-destroying, so try and make positive changes to your life and leave him to search for his spark, which, like a bonfire night sparkler may well fizzle out in a flash. I wish you well as you deserve loyalty and true love in your life.

Dear Janice, my husband is a big lazy lump. He visits his parents every day and stays there for hours watching the telly, placing bets, and eating his way through Pizza Hut. His contribution to our family life is minimal. I am left with the Lion’s Share of everything, housework, children, gardening, paying bills etc. He hasn’t worked since lockdown and says he is settling for nothing less than the top-level job he had before. I’m frustrated and angry all the time and don’t know who to turn to. Mae.

Dear Mae, your big lazy lump may well be suffering from depression, so first and foremost I would drag him and his pizza to his GP and get him the help he may need.

If this isn’t the case, (and I’m not always sure you can be certain), then pay a visit to his parents and have a heart to heart. Hopefully, they can enlighten you on why he spends so much time there and how he really feels. However, if they are simply enabling and pandering to his selfish needs, then you have a problem.

Give him one last chance to up his game by sharing chores and spending quality family time, and as millions of other people do these days, get another type of job to pays the bills.

Counselling can help guide you both, but if nothing changes, pack his belongings, and drop them off at his parents. Sad as this is, I’m sure you will cope. After all, you are doing everything on your own anyway. Good luck.

Dear Janice, when my close friend was forced to move out of his rented flat, I offered him my spare room until he found somewhere. It’s been great so far as he is good company and does his fair share of the chores. However, I recently discovered that he has been smoking in his bedroom and in the bathroom. The only rule I laid down was that my home was a smoke-free zone. I don’t want to spoil our friendship, but I am so angry and disappointed, I don’t even know what to say. Derek.

Dear Derek, he hasn’t been dealing illegal drugs or renting your place out as an Airbnb, so this issue will seem out of perspective, because to him it’s only a sneaky ciggie or two.

Smokers think a skoosh of deodorant or a perfumed candle masks the smoke smell, but they don’t realise that non-smokers are like Beagles and can sniff the slightest whiff a mile off. Be upfront and tell him what you have discovered, and that you are annoyed that he disregarded the only rule you were insistent about.

As a smoker, I don’t think he will see what the big deal is, and despite your pleas, he will more than likely just try harder to disguise his habit.

Maybe it’s best you share with a non-smoking lodger before you lose your friendship for good.

Dear Janice, it’s our one-year anniversary next month and my boyfriend wants us to get tattoos with each other’s name. He is covered in tattoos, so I don’t think its such a big deal to him, but it is to me. I don’t have any and I know my parents would go mental if they found out. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, so what excuse can I make? Courtney.

Dear Courtney, in my experience tattoos last longer than most relationships so you are right to be hesitant. This form of branding is not uncommon with people who are controlling and need to put their permanent stamp on their other half. Ask him why he didn’t suggest a symbol you mutually like instead. Perhaps the tattoos he already has are covering previous partners names, but you may never know. So, tell him you want to postpone your tattoos till next year and treat yourselves to an overnight stay. He could always go ahead with your name!