Dear Janice, I have been online dating for a couple of years now and have finally met ‘the one’. She is an attractive lady whom I was immediately smitten with. She’s kind, caring and funny, and ticked so many boxes that I introduced her to my best friends and some of my family. Everyone agrees we are a really good match. However, last weekend whilst we were enjoying a few drinks at a friend’s barbeque, in front of everyone, she confessed that she is a white witch. Everyone (including me) thought it was just her sense of humour and she was having a joke. But when she started talking about herself in detail, we realised that she wasn’t pulling our leg, and in fact takes the whole being a witch thing very seriously.

Come on, I mean, for goodness’ sake, a witch in this day and age? My friends think it’s hilarious and are winding me up and saying that if I dump her, she could turn nasty and cast a spell on me, and as much as I think it’s a whole load of mumbo jumbo, I am a bit nervous. Also, why didn’t she put this on her dating profile? Malcolm.

Dear Malcolm, smitten, eh? Perhaps she has already cast a spell on you! You say a witch, ‘in this day and age’, which means you believed witches existed at some point in the past.

Malcolm, she doesn’t sound like the green, hooked nose, malevolent witch your friends seem to be portraying.

White witches allude to being energy healers, practice white magic with spells and rituals, and have the best intentions of people at heart. Being a witch, whether she is a white witch, or a black witch is a belief, just like any religion. There is no scientific proof, just faith, belief, and trust.

You have fallen for this lady and by all accounts she sounds like a lovely caring person, so don’t end your relationship because her beliefs are not the same as yours, but equally don’t stay with her because you’re nervous she’ll cast a spell on you.

As for putting it on her dating profile, would you have asked her out if she stated she was a white witch? No, and not many would because we are all too quick to judge.

Dear Janice, my husband and I split up a few months ago. He said he didn’t want to be married to me any longer and that he didn’t love me the way he should. However, since he moved out, he has turned up with a takeout and a bottle of wine a few times and we have ended up in bed together. I then think there is a chance we will get back together, but he just up and leaves the next morning as if it never happened. Why does he treat me this way? Danielle.

Dear Danielle, the simple answer to that one is because he can. He’s a guy, you’re offering him sex with no conditions, so why wouldn’t he try his luck?

You let him into your bed, and I suspect you are hoping that he will realise what he is missing, and he’ll move back in, but that is highly unlikely.

What isn’t fair is him coming back every now and dangling the metaphoric carrot, using you for sex, and leaving again as if you were some random he just met.

Sit yourself down and imagine where you will be three years from now. Your feelings towards him will have changed, (you may not even like him anymore), you will likely be divorced and perhaps even in a new relationship. Would you welcome him into your bed then? Next time he randomly appears with his takeout and wine, politely point him in the direction of the nearest park bench and wish him good night.

Dear Janice, why do men ghost women? I had four dates with a guy and thought we hit it off. We texted, called now and then and suddenly he just vanished! I just can’t get my head around it. I have no clue why he would do this, and it’s putting me off trying another relationship. Sonya.

Dear Sonya, yep, that’s ghosting for you. Here one minute and gone the next.

Guaranteed there is always a reason, but more than likely you will never know what that reason was.

Like us all, he is prewired from his past experiences and relationships and more than likely there was part of the date that triggered something he didn’t like.

If this is the first time this has happened to you then none of it will be obvious, and you need to let it go and move on or you’ll drive yourself mad with what ifs.

However, if you are seeing a pattern, (you’ve been ghosted for the fifth time), then I would be concerned as to what you are doing and how you come across to others.

Ask your friends to tell you honestly why they think this is happening to you. Explain what you do or say on a date, because you must be triggering something or behaving in a way that’s making your date vanish. It’s best you try and get to the bottom of your behaviour before you set yourself up for another disappointment.