'I want the patter - and Glasgow won't disappoint' - comedian Craig Hill's dream gig

But the Glasgow-born comedian who regularly sells out festivals in Scotland and abroad is finally playing his “dream” venue here in the city – and he is speechless.

“I can’t believe it,” he says finally, looking a little awestruck.

“I’ve always wanted to appear on stage in the Pavilion, it’s like a rite of passage for any Glaswegian, isn’t it? I think Glasgow Times readers will understand what I mean by that. This is such a famous and prestigious venue in the city.”

He adds: “I am genuinely thrilled to be walking in the footsteps of so many great performers – Billy Connolly, Stanley Baxter ... there’s such history here.

“It’s really strange to think audiences are plonking their backsides on seats people have been sitting in for more than 100 years.”

He jokes: “And this is an audience who will get every word – I won’t have to edit a single thing. It will be great to be on stage again in front of a home crowd, in the place I’m from, doing the patter I like in front of people who get it.”

Craig is bringing his sell-out Edinburgh Festival Fringe show Pumped! to the Pavilion on October 1.

It’s his first gig in the city since the Glasgow Comedy Festival just before the pandemic and subsequent lockdown stopped live performance in its tracks.

“Before Edinburgh, people kept asking me, oh how will you do it, back performing after not doing it for 18 months, will you be ready, will you be really nervous?” he explains.

“Weirdly, I don’t feel like that at all.

“I feel more gusto and fervour than ever because this is what I love to do, and it was taken from me. I want to get back out there, I’m desperate to do it, so rather than being nervous I’m going all guns blazing.”

He adds, with a laugh: “After 18 months cooped up in the house? Are you joking?

As an entertainer you have this natural wish to entertain, this energy – and where did it all go? Walking out on the stage will be like striking a match.”

All he wants, says Craig, is “the Glasgow patter”.

“I know Pavilion audiences will rise to the occasion,” he smiles.

“The last time I played the city, I was chatting to a woman in the front row who was very curvaceous and a man sitting at the back asked her if she wanted a date.”

Craig laughs: “He was from Rio, so, quick as a flash, she shouted back ‘naw, son, ah’ve already had a Brazilian’.”

Behind the scenes at the Pavilion, as he prepares for the gig, Craig returns to his love of the venue.

“We all used to go on the bus to the panto, me and the family, aunties, uncles, cousins – it was a real treat,” he says.

“The shows were crazy. I loved it. Coming out in the dark afterwards, counting the Christmas trees in the windows on the way home – it has all stayed in my head.

“For most kids, panto is their first experience of theatre, of course. I love theatres – the venues are incredible, the anticipation as you wait for the lights to go down – it’s magical.”

Craig adds: “I knew when Covid happened, and things started to shut down, theatres would be the last to come back. Theatres are where I play, so I knew it was going to be a long road. Lockdown wasn’t too hard for me, I was lucky.”

He adds, with a laugh: “And now that we are back, the audiences are brilliant. The Fringe audiences were SO ready – especially for comedy. You could feel the excitement from the stage.

“And venues are being incredibly safe, which is important. I think everyone understands that at the beginning of all this re-opening, it won’t take much to close again, and no-one wants that.”

Craig, who grew up in East Kilbride, was a hairdresser before he tried stand-up, and since his first Fringe in 1999, every single run has sold out.

He has performed at Australian comedy festivals for more than 15 years, taken to the stage at the London Palladium and in 2015 was UK Ambassador for Montreux Comedy Festival’s Joke Nation contest.

He is a well-kent face on television and in 2017 he made his Glastonbury debut, welly boots, kilt and all. Pumped! is classic Craig Hill, packed with gags, music, a little bit of dance and lots of slightly risque audience participation.

“You don’t want to talk about Covid, but I talk about my life and how can I do that and not mention the last year and a half?” he says.

“I would never make light of it, but I have tried to find some of the funny sides of being stuck in your house for months.

“So I do a song called It’s Time to Start Daeing Yer Hair at Hame, and there’s an Olivia Newton-John tribute to Astrazeneca – that kind of thing.”

He grins: “And there’s a joke about giving the nurses the clap. I couldn’t help myself.”

Craig Hill is Pumped! is at the Pavilion on October 1. Visit the theatre’s website for tickets and more information.