Dear Janice, I know for a fact that my wife has been seeing someone else for a while now, but for the life of me I cannot bring myself to confront her.

I haven’t told a soul, not even my good friend. I know I am burying my head in the sand in the hope that this mess will simply go away, but I really don’t have the courage to go through another breakup.

My first wife cheated on me and it took me a very long time to get over it and find the courage to fall in love again.

It’s tearing me apart but I don’t know what to do except hope and pray her affair fizzles out and I have my wife back again.


Dear John, this is a depressing position to be in, and let’s be honest, for your own sanity you know you cannot pretend this isn’t happening.

The old saying “a problem shared is a problem halved” is so true in a situation like yours.

I very much doubt that your good friend has no inkling there is something very wrong, so please speak to him and confront your problems head on. He will support you so that you don’t have to deal with this whole mess on your own.

You could spend years of misery and gut-wrenching emotional abuse whilst waiting on your wife sleeping her way through life as you sit silently in the shadows, but there is still no guarantee she wouldn’t up and leave anyway.

John, keep in mind that a life with a cheater is no life at all. It is miserable, soul destroying, and will only bring you down on every level, and often we can get so down that it makes it all the harder to pick ourselves up again.

You found the strength before, and you will find it again, so take control of your life instead of accepting the crumbs of your wife’s affection.

Dear Janice, my friend is pressuring me to book a foreign holiday soon and you would think I would jump at the chance, especially after lockdown.

The problem is that last time we went away she kept coping off with different guys and I was left to find my own way back to our apartment.

When she eventually returned the next day, she was hungover and talked nonstop about her adventures the night before.

I’m no prude, and I do expect her to enjoy herself, but the thought of going through all of the same thing again is putting me right off booking anything with her.

I can only stall her for so long, but I can’t think of a reasonable excuse to say I don’t want to go. She knows I have no-one else to go with.


Dear Sheila, no reasonable excuse? Well, you’ve just rhymed off a few for starters!

Next time she mentions a holiday, don’t try and come up with excuses, just be honest.

Tell her you both obviously want different things from your holiday. You want company, and she wants the company of others!

Nothing wrong in doing what she is doing if that’s her thing, but it’s obviously not yours.

I have to say, even if you chat and she agrees to a celibate holiday, I very much doubt if the opportunity arose, that it would stay that way.

You, however, do have other options.

If solo travelling is not for you, there are many single traveller holiday packages you can go on with others where you would never be on your own unless you wanted to be. Check them out. At least that way you have other options.

Dear Janice, how do I get my partner of four years to pop the question?

We have talked about the possibility of marriage, so I know he isn’t against it.

He is a wonderful guy who is just a bit of a slow starter and hasn’t gotten round to asking me, but I’m in my late-30s and would love us to start a family soon.

We have talked about having children together too and he said he wants a family.

I’m a bit old fashioned and would prefer to be married when I do have a child, so how do I nudge him along?


Dear Rosie, he hasn’t totally dismissed the idea of marriage, so there is hope. If he is the man you want to marry and have children with then I would just go for it.

It sounds like he isn’t about to get down on one knee anytime soon and you could be waiting forever whilst your biological clock continues to tick.

You say you have old-fashioned values, which is refreshing to hear in today’s world, but have you considered asking him to marry you?

Four years is long enough for a person to know if they want to commit to someone or not. You know what you want, now ask him. He can only give one answer.

If it’s no, then have a conversation about how important it is to you to be married before you start your family.

And let’s face it, if he wants children with you then a commitment to marriage shouldn’t be a difficult choice to make.