Dear Janice, I have been seeing a guy for four months now and believe we have a future together.

We are both single, but the trouble is he is still living in the same house with his wife.

He is adamant their relationship has been over since they officially separated 10 months ago, but his wife is refusing to sell their home which means he can’t move on with his life.

Despite his home life being in turmoil, he is trying desperately to keep the peace with his wife in the hope that she agrees to the house sale. He said it would make his life a lot easier if we kept our relationship a secret for now. We do, and only go to places outwith our local area.

I am happy to go along with this, but my friends say I am a fool and that I should ditch him.

But what if I give him up and have thrown away my one chance to be happy again? Carole.

Dear Carole, if he is still living at home with his wife, then I’m sorry ... he is still in a relationship.

Perhaps not the Mills and Boon relationship you hope to have, but it’s still a relationship all the same.

If his marriage is over (and you only have his word for it), then he is perfectly entitled to get on with his life and openly date whoever he wants.

His wife can only block the house sale for so long before he can apply for a court-forced sale of their home. So, telling you he is merely keeping the peace with his wife to push a house sale seems more than a little far-fetched. Don’t get me wrong, it does take time, but my instinct tells me he will still be in their marital home for Christmas dinner.

Carole, your heart is guiding your misjudged decisions, whereas your friends have sussed this guy out based on the facts.

He still lives with his wife. He has no plans in place to move on. He treats you like his mistress.

Difficult as it will be, tell him your relationship is over until he moves out of the marital home.

If you’re his soulmate and he doesn’t want to lose you, then changes will quickly happen.

If not, take your friends’ advice and move on. This relationship was simply not meant to be.

Dear Janice, my colleague steals from our work tills and I don’t know what to do for the best.

It’s a cash business so she doesn’t ring every sale up and pockets the money.

I am her manager, but should I say something to my boss or not? Moira.

Dear Moira, if there is a chance you could be under suspicion, then yes. If not, let her know you know. She won’t be happy to be found out but give her the chance to stop. I doubt she will stop as she is now used to the extra cash.

You’re paid to manage her, so if she keeps tea-leafing, I’m afraid you need to expose her.

Dear Janice, my husband and I are generally very happy, but he is constantly letting his ex-fiancee come between us. He called off their engagement after three years, but they split amicably. A year later he met me.

To date she still calls for advice on a multitude of things that should not be his concern. But he can’t seem to say no.

They have no children together, or even a shared pet, so why is this still going on?

She has had a couple of relationships but is still single and a friend told me that she has never gotten over their breakup.

If this is true then my husband is being cruel continuing with their “friendship”, which initially I thought was a mature thing to do.

He does tell me every time she gets in touch and is not doing anything behind my back, but I feel they should have both moved on from each other by now.

If I bring this up, he just says she is a bit of a loner, and he feels sorry for her and guilty for ending their relationship. I just want her out of our lives. Any ideas? Lynn.

Dear Lynn, I agree. This friendship should be well and truly over ... in every sense.

If she still has feelings for him, it’s not fair on her, or you.

The fact he is open about everything does not make it right, in fact it causes friction between you regardless.

Perhaps he enjoys the mutual admiration of two women, but would he be happy for you to have an ex calling you for advice? I doubt it.

Tell him enough is enough and that if he doesn’t grow a set and be honest with this woman then you will take matters into your own hands and speak to her yourself. I’m not suggesting you have a blow out with her, but just a chat to make it clear where you’re both at in relationship to YOUR husband.

Enabling her needs is stopping her from moving on and supporting herself.

This lady was his past and should remain there. You are his future and as such, he should respect that.

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