The wheels on the bus go round and round.

But in Glasgow, they go round slower than in most other large cities.

The night bus rammy last week has brought bus ownership and governance under the spotlight again.

When First Bus decreed it was scrapping the night bus it sparked a shouting match similar to those I can still remember on the buses that used to leave George Square in the early hours a number of years ago.  

READ NEXT: First Bus to end night bus service across Greater Glasgow

One of the solutions mooted is public ownership, like the glory days of the corpy buses but for the modern age.

That there is a problem with buses in Glasgow is evident, ask anyone waiting at a bus stop.

Buses in Glasgow are slower, more expensive, used by fewer people and less efficient than the cities considered the best in the world.

The permutations of cause and effect in the above statement are up for debate meanwhile passengers stare forlornly into the middle distance, waiting for their bus.

That’s not just my opinion, based on my own experience, but the conclusions of a report last year for the council and SPT to look at possible alternatives to the status quo.

It looked at the best performing cities for buses, Paris, Zurich, London, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Dortmund, Berlin, Singapore and Vienna all mentioned as miles better than our dear green place.

READ NEXT: Plan to scrap night buses in Glasgow delayed for more talks

Look away now Glaswegians but Edinburgh scores better than Glasgow.  

Glasgow Times:

Satisfaction in the capital equals 95% against Glasgow at 79%.

On all the measures in a report, Glasgow is found wanting.

Bus speeds, the measure often quoted by First Bus as being outwith their control is slower in Glasgow with the blame laid on congestion.

But the report cites Singapore as “a good case study” noting, “a city that is significantly more congested than Glasgow with seven times more population was found to have almost 20% higher average bus speed compared to Glasgow.”

Glasgow Times:

Singapore also has some seriously strict controls on car usage and ownership, which may explain why buses are able to move more freely.

The average fare in Glasgow was £1.80 but adjusted to take into account concessionary fares, the city has an average cost of 97p per journey.

In Singapore it is 30p in Berlin it is 39p.

The best performing cities are also noted to have a real functioning integrated ticketing system available to use on all public transport modes, which Glasgow lacks.

In the report, it looks at the alternatives, including municipal ownership and a franchising system.

Both would require significant upfront public investment.

READ NEXT:Public transport in Glasgow is being run for private profit

Franchising, it concluded would offer “a single integrated decision maker that can source funding and deliver a world-class bus service”.

Here’s the catch, it relies on “untested legislation” that will cost the authority £4m-£15m to build a business case,  and “take seven years to implement and poses significant new risks to local transport authorities”.

It can be done but will take time and money.

Full municipal ownership, a publicly owned and run bus company, as many want, would, the report says, offer “integrating decision making with all profits invested back into services”.

It would however mean local authorities acquiring the businesses of today's commercial operators.

Glasgow City Council, cash strapped Glasgow City Council, would need to buy up FirstBus, McGills and others who run services in the city.

Here’s the bigger catch.

“We estimate that acquisition of bus operators across the region could cost at least £200m”.

Are there any big public buildings left in the city to remortgage to finance such deals?

Either of these models is possible but will come at a considerable cost and require political will to see it through.

The bus firms would, understandably, want to be compensated for being taken over.

The bus industry in the Glasgow region is estimated to be worth £277.5m per year with an operating profit of around £34.5m a year before the pandemic.

Running a bus company in Glasgow is viable and highly profitable but what First wanted to do was abandon one that is less profitable to focus on those that rake in cash.

Meanwhile, passengers just want fair fares, buses that turn up when they need them and to not be stuck in queues of traffic.

But all this doom and gloom around the buses is putting the city in bad humour, so here’s an old Glasgow joke to raise a smile. Apologies if you’ve heard it, and you probably have.

A man goes for a job as a bus conductor (I know they’re extinct now).

The boss asks: “What would you do if a passenger was being rowdy?”

The man says: “Ah’d pit them aff ma bus at the next stoap.”

“Good answer. And what would you do if you couldn’t get the fare?”

“Well, Ah suppose A’hd jist take the first two weeks in August”.