Dear Janice,
My parents give me such a hard time because I only visit them once a month.
Trouble is I work around the clock and simply don’t have time, what with my many other commitments too.
When I do phone, it’s ‘hi stranger, remember us? etc’, so I’m put off calling again and it’s a vicious cycle.
Either way, they never seem to be happy. They are in their mid-eighties and can’t visit me, which doesn’t help either.
My workload is likely to be the same for the foreseeable future as our company is expanding, therefore I don’t know how I can improve our situation.
Stewart.
Dear Stewart,
In their lifetime, most people will have multiple employers, but they will only have one mum and dad.
If you get sick, your employer may look after you financially, but your friends and family will be the ones who see you through, therefore you need to find a way to make more time for your loved ones, and for yourself too.
Your parents will be well aware that they are on the countdown, which is why they feel the need to have contact with you now more than ever.
Think about this ... you visit them once a month and perhaps if they’re lucky, they have five years to live. So, work out how many times you have left to be with them. Is that what you want?
Until you find a way of freeing up more time, set up a weekly magazine subscription, or send small gifts. I am sure when the postie appears with something from you, they will appreciate the fact that despite being busy, they are in your thoughts.
This won’t cost much, and it will make their day.
I’m sure your next telephone call will have a much more upbeat tone, but please remember to make more time before there is no more time.
Dear Janice,
I seem to be stuck in my past. My ex of 10 years is still haunting my thoughts and it’s driving me mad.
I’ve even tried hypnotherapy, but nothing works.
How can I move on?
Shona.
Dear Shona,
If you don’t make peace with your past, it will dictate your future, and that’s precisely what’s happening to you.
By recognising how and why you broke up may help you move forward. Let’s face it, if it was your decision, we wouldn’t be having this chat, so ask how and why did it end?
Accept the reasons, be accountable for your part, learn lessons from it, and focus on the present.
Surround yourself with happy, positive, inspiring people because when you do, you will discover that they won’t tolerate your endless gloomy accounts of the past, and will shut down conversations because no-one wants to listen to the same old tales of woe.
Accept that you cannot change the past and shift your focus, or you will live in limbo for forever.
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