Dear Janice, at New Year my friend was diagnosed with stage four cancer, and I have been there every step of the way, but it’s getting more and more difficult.

Not just because of her illness, but her attitude is upsetting and wearing on me. She barks orders at her poor husband (and me), and continually complains.

She now lashes out with nasty and cruel comments which is completely out of character.

I want to help her, but I dread every visit and phone call. Any advice would be welcome. Jean.

Dear Jean, your friend received a lifechanging diagnosis and you are getting the brunt of her responsive reactions I’m afraid.

None of us know how we would react, so let’s take a step back and consider what’s going on.

She will be frightened, angry and feeling as though she has lost control of her life, because her feelings of hopelessness are blinding her to any glimmer of a future. Your lives will continue, whereas hers might not.

Of course you won’t abandon her, but to get through this, you and her husband need to reach out for support. Check out; or call the free helpline on 0808 808 00 00.

It is important you both take time for yourselves so you can continue to cope with her needs.

Supporting someone with cancer can be draining for obvious reasons, but also, you’re on edge because every sentence you speak might hit a nerve.

So, it’s best to listen more, watch TV together or read to her from a magazine or book.

She knows you are there to help, therefore bear with her.

Dear Janice, I have been seeing a married man for more than three years.

He is a wonderful guy and we are so connected and perfect for each other.

The problem is he keeps stalling leaving his wife. Their children have always been the reason, but they are in their teens now, so I don’t know what’s holding him back.

I want a family too; therefore, I’m starting to feel anxious and resentful towards his family.

Don’t ask me to dump him, because I know I won’t fall in love again, so how do I move things along? LM.

Dear LM, this “wonderful” man you are seeing is married with commitments to his poor wife, their children and their extended family.

I don’t see his situation changing unless his wife finds him out and sends him packing.

Only then might he be yours, but only by default, and not because you are the love of his life.

But I reckon in your state of delusion, you would settle for the crumbs of this man.

Catch a grip before your childbearing years have passed, because if that becomes your reality, you will find out firsthand the true meaning of the word resentment.

Grow up, move on and end this make-believe relationship in a dignified and mature manner while you still can.

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