Dear Janice, I’m dating a nice guy and although there is nothing in particular I can put my finger on, something doesn’t feel right.

I invited him to my best friend’s wedding, and he said unfortunately he was already invited to his aunt's 50th birthday party (despite never mentioning her).

I cooked dinner, and no sooner had we finished our coffee he got a text from his mum saying her car had broken down and he left to help. I felt this was planned as he only sipped a drop of wine.  

I called across to him in the shopping centre, but he kept walking and later said he hadn’t heard me as he had his earphones in. That aside, I thought he was working!

Last weekend after the cinema, out of the blue he took ill and had to rush home to bed.

I texted him but he explained the next day that he had taken Night Nurse and was in a deep sleep and didn’t read my messages.

My friend suggested following him, but I don’t want to go down that road. He comes across as super keen, however, I’m confused by his actions. Kirsty.


Dear Kirsty, this guy sure is a slippery character.

An emergency dash to help his mother, a mysterious aunt, a sudden bout of illness etc.

Let’s say these incidents are true and he is a decent, honest guy, surely he would prioritise you over an aunt to attend your best friend’s wedding? This would be the actions of someone who is super keen.

Sorry, but I don’t believe any of his tall tales and I don’t think you do either otherwise you wouldn’t be writing to me.

Agreed, you could follow him, but chances are, unless you actually catch him face-to-face up to no good, he would create a version of reality which you still couldn’t contest.

There will be reasons why his behaviour is so shifty, but it comes down to how much of your time and effort you want to invest trying to tie this guy down.

I think it’s futile, and your energy would be better spent on someone who is actually where he says he is and doesn’t disappear in a puff of smoke when he’s with you.  


Dear Janice, I’m really into a colleague, so when her marriage ended, I immediately asked her out.

She said she needed space and time to heal before jumping into another relationship.

She’s hot, fit and gorgeous and I’m worried that someone else gets in there before me. John.


Dear John, listen with your ears and not your genitals. Respect what this lady has told you and back off because you come across as lustful and desperate which is the last thing your colleague needs right now.

I’m sure she knows only too well you’re salivating on the sidelines, so give her space and if the time is right and she wants to date you, she will. 

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