Dear Janice,
It’s almost Valentine’s Day and yet again I’ll be spending it by myself.
For one reason or another I’ve had no luck dating and I have no idea where I’m going wrong.
Most of my friends are in relationships and will be spoiled rotten and celebrating Valentine’s Day whilst I sit at home on my own.
I know I should get over it, but it upsets me.
How can I pull myself out of the mood I know I will be in on this big day?
Anne.
Dear Anne,
Is it a big day? It’s all about perspective, and for the majority of people, single or not, this day will come and go without a red rose in sight.
For you however, the emphasis is on being single, alone, and lost in the absence of a knight in shining armour bearing gifts.
Basically, you’ve set yourself up to be miserable because you imagine everyone is whisked off to be wined, dined, and overindulged with flowers and gifts. Trust me, they’re not.
Despite being aware that this romantic day is little more than commercialised clap trap, many couples are under pressure to splash out on expensive gifts in an effort to appease the expectations of their loved one.
OK, you don’t want to mingle in places filled with handholding, smooching couples, but there is no need to be alone.
Why not host a singles-only murder mystery dinner party, or throw an anti-Valentine’s party for your single friends?
Laugh the night away and look for the positives in being single because this pity party attitude will never find you a partner.
Valentine’s Day can be a lovely day either way, but it’s really down to you to mourn the day away...or enjoy it.
I hope you choose the latter.
Dear Janice,
My future mother-in-law doesn’t like me one bit and I have no idea why. We have only met a handful of times, and each time she has been dismissive, despite trying my best to fit in.
My finance says he hasn’t noticed, but he’s lying and won’t say why.
How can I get to the bottom of this if neither of them will tell me where I am going wrong?
June.
Dear June,
Why do you automatically assume you are the one in the wrong? This problem may be something they can’t get over and which has nothing to do with you.
The issue here is you’re engaged to a man who can’t be up front with you, and this alone should raise questions.
Let’s faced it, avoiding couples’ issues is not a good start to married life!
Try again and ask him to be honest and if he isn’t, then turn you attention to his mother. Meet her on her own and ask her to be forthright about why she is so dismissive towards you.
Your maturity in handling this situation is commendable, and I’m intrigued, so let me know the outcome.
Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk
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