Dear Janice, five years ago, I holidayed in Thailand. Instead of coming home with the usual duty-free, I somehow landed myself a Thai bride!
 

I was widowed 10 years ago, and the loneliness was overwhelming, so when this beautiful young woman was into me, I couldn’t believe my luck. The attraction was instant and as soon as I could I brought her to Scotland.


However, it has been far from plain sailing and any affection, never mind sex, has long gone.
I have spent most of my redundancy money sending large sums to her sick mother and other members of her family.
She says she won’t return to Thailand until I put a final lump of cash in her bank account, but I am struggling financially.
I’m also desperately scared to be on my own again. I have no friends to ask, so please advise. Arthur. 

Dear Arthur, regardless of whether your wife is Taeng from Thailand or Mags from Maryhill, you are embroiled in a sad and controlling situation.
This woman sees you as a vulnerable cash-cow and has jumped on the opportunity to bleed you dry.
The first thing to do is contact a matrimonial/family lawyer who will advise how best financially to conclude this disastrous period of your life. Do not send one more penny to her family until you have done so.
Join your local social club, church, pub quiz night, anything to fill in your time. Long winter nights are ahead, so it’s up 
to you to bring some light into your life.
And don’t be put off… there are lovely ladies out there who will appreciate you for you, and not what’s in your back pocket. (Although I don’t suppose that’s much nowadays!)
Next time you venture abroad, Arthur, just bring home a bottle of Johnnie Walker. It won’t cost as much, you’ll get more pleasure from it and ...  you won’t get a five-year hangover!

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Dear Janice, our teenagers (aged 16 and 18) are so entitled. They are lazy, rude, spoiled and contribute virtually nothing to the household chores, and have never had any type of job.
They have their friends over for dinner and often for sleepovers, which costs us a fortune for pizzas, drinks, etc. They also expect us to be their personal taxi service.
I have had enough because no matter how many times we give in to their demands, or how much we do for them, they never show the slightest bit of gratitude.
My wife says it’s all part of growing up and that I should make the most of the time they are at home with us because before we know it, they will be gone. (I should be so lucky!)
I don’t even know where to begin to change this situation. John.

Dear John, guess what? They are the way they are because their parents are enabling them. 
Your teenagers clearly haven’t evolved from being 10-year-olds, and that is solely down to you and your wife.
Cutting the apron strings is all about teaching them how to manage their life independently.
This is not happening. I doubt they can budget, cook a meal or get themselves safely from A to B.
John, often when something is free it loses its value. You are giving your time, energy, effort and money freely and they are happily taking it with no thanks in return.
Agree some solid rules that need to be put in place, which BOTH of you must adhere to.
Assist them in finding a part-time job, that way they can help fund the pizzas, petrol, etc. Motivate them to do chores with rewards instead of nagging.
Promote good communication, which is key, and be an example to them. Involve them in the kitchen. They might surprise you!
Pull back on the many things you do for them. Only then might they realise how fortunate they are.
There will be strops, arguments, perhaps even threats of moving out, but they won’t be going anywhere fast. Trust me, why would they when they have their own cashline, cleaner, chauffeur and food provider? They have no motivation to be independent, so stand strong and united and progress should be made.

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Dear Janice, my girlfriend regularly texts her ex and it makes my blood boil.
She is well aware of how much it upsets me, but says they are and always will be good friends.
What makes matters worse is I know for a fact that if the roles were reversed, she would crack up with me.
I don’t want to lose her, but what else can I do? James.

Dear James, it’s tricky because if you insist she goes no-contact, how will you know she is sticking to her promise?
There is a reason she is still keeping in touch. Is he her plan B should your relationship fail? Do they still have feelings for each other? Is he in a relationship?
I would ask to see their messages.
Yes, she is entitled to privacy, but if there is nothing to hide, she will show you and hopefully it will be just light-hearted banter.
If she refuses ... that’s a huge red flag.
Not much else to say except – good luck!