1 Socks:
Not a case of will you get a pair, but how many will Santa bring.
2 Cheap after shave: Nothing worse than having to wear the stuff - even for a day.
3 Ill-fitting jumpers: Not only do they not fit in the first place, they then shrink in the wash.
4 School trousers: Yes, Santa knew one little lad had fallen and torn his only pair.
5 Diy Tools: Nothing says Merry Christmas like a new Black & Decker.
6 Cheap plonk: Always worth checking the sell-by date to see how long it's been in the giver's cupboard.
7 Luminous tie: Like you're ever going to wear it.
8 The Barbra Streisand CD: Or the CD of whichever artist you really don't want in your collection
9 Tickets to a concert you don't want to attend: Roy 'Chubby' Brown - oooh fantastic, thanks.
10 Sexy underwear: a) is that sexy? b) I don't wear sexy underwear anyway.
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