Cat's Eyes are not on Glasgow but burgers: St Vincent Street, which bun is best?

Towards the end of 2014, several new burger bars opened in town. In fact, at the corner of St Vincent and West Nile Street - if you're looking for something to eat - there is, practically, burger all else! Sitting side by side, opening days apart were, Handmade Burger Co, Gourmet Burger Kitchen and Five Guys.

The Glasgow Burger Wars have already contributed to a fair amount of column (and trouser) width in the city. However, this week I thought I'd say see ya to the January detox and give each one of the newbies a whirl to find out which, really is, the best new burger bar on the block.

Gourmet Burger Kitchen

My first bite of burger this week was an emergency one. I have a saying 'no food, bad mood' and after a busy morning, I suddenly had a fit of the hangries. It was the ravenous carnivore inside that decided that this week's burger challenge was a good one. By Thursday, I was slightly regretting it and have made a commitment to eat lettuce all weekend!

However, back to the burger in hand. To begin with, Gourmet Burger Kitchen left a bad taste in the mouth of many Weegies. During their opening week they rolled out a menu, apparently, in the lingo of the locals. There was 'Hoose Mayo', 'Hoat drinks' and for salad days, slices of 'Rid onion'. Weirder still were the Vaneelae Milkshakes. Anyway. Thankfully, they've done away with all that and the menu now reads as you would hope any unpatronising burger joint would. It's all burgers, fries and shakes. No surprises there.

I went for the straight up Bacon and Cheeseburger and Sweet Potato Fries. The burger was tasty but on the soggier side of greasy. However, the (slightly dry) bun held things together well. The chips were a disappointment, especially for their hefty £4 price tag… I wished I'd gone for the skinny fries, not because there's even a slim chance they would have been healthier but they looked significantly more munchable.

On the plus side, the staff were lovely and attentive, and I'm fond of the Americanism of 'free refills' for soft drinks. The set up is also warm and cosy and I felt welcome enough to hang out on their free wifi for as long as I wished, but perhaps that says something about how quiet they were?

Cost: Medium Rare - at £15.55 for my lunch, this would need to be a treat.

Burger: Medium - I've got no beef with GBK but the burger was good rather than great.

Handmade Burger Co

On the second day of burgers, Glasgow served up to me: Handmade Burger Co. This burger bar does what it says on the tin, the patties are handmade in their restaurants each day. This led me to believe that not only was I sitting down for a better bite of burger, they might be a smidge healthier too.

The restaurant is in the old Paperinos and it's a lofty, big old building. So much so, when Handmade were renovating, they realised they had far too much space for just burgers and fries, and added movies into the mix: setting aside a 'cinema room'. As I sat down, I was given set instructions about the ordering process and it all felt a bit Nando's, even the signage is similar. However, with hardly a chicken in sight, my server suggested their new 'Stuffed Burgers': beef patties filled with a range of interesting ingredients. Following his advice, I ordered the Mozzarella and Sun Blushed Tomato Stuffed Burger, Chips and Corn on the Cob.

The food came quickly, which perhaps wasn't that surprising as it was so quiet (and felt more so, because of the size of the place). The 'special' burger arrived and, as my bloke said, was less good that he could have cooked, and he's no Gordon Ramsey. The mozzarella and sun blushed tomatoes were almost undetectable. So, it was far from stuffed and neither was I, only managing to eat half of the bland patty.

I turned to the sides instead, the chips were cold and under-cooked and the corn was burnt, not charred, burnt. Things were not going well. I had high hopes for Handmade and the restaurant certainly looks good. However, for me, it's all a bit shallow (fry): looks good but, sadly, their burgers aren't so nice on the inside.

Cost: Medium - £13.95 for what it's worth, this is more than I would pay.

Burger: Blue - as in 'that's no way to serve a burger'.

Five Guys

If Handmade Burger Co is like Nandos, Five Guys is Wimpy circa 1980. All red and white checks, plastic seats and American signage. However, Five Guys is fast food, reborn. When the lauded US chain arrived here in the UK, folk camped out overnight awaiting it's opening. What's wrong with people? A burger for breakfast?

To be honest, though, I was less enthused about chowing down on this burger than the first, as I was beginning to seriously regret my self-imposed challenge. However, I'm a stubborn wotsit and I'd heard good things about these Guys.

I went for the small burger, which was plenty big enough, especially with all the added extras meaning I could have it 'my way'. And the burgers are (potentially) heart-stoppingly, tastily addictive. It didn't look pretty but it was a little bite of heaven wrapped in silver foil. I also ordered 'small fries' which actually amounted to nearly half a brown shopping bag full. Making it much better value than it's neighbours.

However, partly through it's deliciousness and partly because of the uncomfortable plastic seating, I scoffed the burger in record time. I was in and out in around 15 food filled minutes. So, despite it's loveliness Five Guys is a stomach quencher on the go, not lunch to linger over.

Cost: Well Done - £10.00 plenty more burger for your buck, but don't get too comfortable. Burger: Well Done - High Five Guys, this is my best burger on the block.

The bun fight in the city is far from over, but perhaps it's losing it's fervour. No more burger bars! In terms of the St Vincent Burger Triangle, Five Guys was the stand out winner. However, for me, the best burger remains one that was born and bred in Glasgow: Burger Meats Bun.

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