THE 2022 World Cup starts this Sunday and when I say I’m not that excited you need to believe me when I tell you that’s little to do with Scotland not being there.

We’re on the march with Ally’s army? Only if you are watching and listening to Mr McCoist on ITV.

In his words, this World Cup is “not for me, Clive!”

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Firstly, a winter World Cup – no thanks. If you want a proper winter World Cup, let’s host the bloody thing at Gayfield in Arbroath in deep December and see how yer Messis and Ronaldos get on there!

I’m open to the ways and the weather of other parts of the world, and that things might need done differently elsewhere than it is here, but come on … there are reasons, especially the world football calendar, that we’ve never had a winter World Cup before and I hope we don’t have another one any time soon again.

This brings me to player welfare – it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, it’s unsustainable for these lads to play so often as they do now, just absolute madness to be playing 90 minutes of important domestic league football just one week before the World Cup starts.

And then there’s the politics, or Politics, of it all – which given this is a taxi driver column and not Newsnight I’ll spare you the detail on!

All that said, would I be more excited – or at least excited! – if Scotland had qualified? Of course!

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But these aren’t mutually exclusive viewpoints –
I can be gutted that we aren’t cheering Scotland on yet also disappointed in the venue and timing, meaning I’ll be watching a World Cup Final featuring 22 knackered players, running around in searing heat, exactly one week before Christmas.

It’s all bonkers!

Well, nearly all bonkers …

Reading up on the host country’s arrangements,
I couldn’t help to be drawn to the prominence given to taxis within the transport arrangements.

Helped by the fact Qatar is not that much bigger than London? Maybe.

But things like taxis joining buses in enjoying exclusive use of A-Ring Road during the competition, app-based cabs being heavily promoted and other provisions to encourage people to use taxis – these are the things we love to see.

I would love to see that sort of planning catch on back home. Then we can replace marching with Ally’s Army with riding in Clarkey’s cab!

This leads me to end with a wee song just for the World Cup, all together now:

Doha deer, a female deer …

Stay safe!